Sermon preached by the Rev. Lillie Mae Henley 13 Aug 2006
“If you can’t say anything good about someone else, don’t say anything at all.” How many times did you hear this when you were growing up? Margueritte, my mother, said it countless times to me. And what is so strange, now, looking back, is that I rarely heard her say anything negative about others.
It is strange because it is difficult to live your life this way. Earlier in my life, for instance, I’ve found it much easier to say negative things about people than positive things. I’ll sit in front of the television and say things like, “He needs his teeth straightened,” or “Where did s/he get that outfit, it’s horrible,” or “If I had his money, I’d get a face lift!” Then I’d catch myself, ask who are you to be saying these things?
To be honest, I try not to do this anymore. I’ve done a lot of spiritual growth work, but there are still times when I forget Margueritte’s wise words.
When I graduated from university, I hired on with IBM. The very first week I was there, one of the marketing representatives came in from the field and was told to go to his manager’s office. Shortly thereafter, he went to his desk, packed up all his personal belongings, and left. I asked my manager what happened, and s/he said,
Today Mike was demonstrating a copier to a long-time computer customer, who happened to have a trial Xerox copy machine in his office. Mike said something disparaging about the Xerox product, and the customer called the marketing manager. There’s one thing you never, never do when you work for IBM, s/he said, you never disparage a competitor.
Yes, Mike lost his job for disparaging a competitor. And my first thought—I can still remember it, was, he should’ve listened to Margueritte!
Our readings today from Ephesians are about Christian relationships—with each other and with God. The author of Ephesians is writing to a group of new Christians. Scholars believe they have never met Paul, so the author is attempting to convey, what s/he believes are guiding principles that the Apostle would write, if he could write to them.
Contrary to popular belief, Paul was a pretty egalitarian-minded apostle for his time and culture. For example, he told women that when they entered the synagogue, to cover their heads. For this he has gotten a lot of flack over the years, but in reality, he was giving women permission to enter the synagogues at a time when Hebrew women were generally excluded from public worship.
Paul, like Jesus, called for a new paradigm in this new faith.
When we read, “Thieves … give up stealing, … work honestly with [your] hands, so as to have something to share with the needy.” There are two messages:
It was certainly a message of that culture. As you know, classical thought demeaned manual labor. Aristocrats would never dirty their hands. The educated and artistic lived off wealthy patrons, everyone else was at the bottom of the social structure. Scholars tell us people believed it was better to steal than to work with their hands.
Paul, like Jesus, called for a new paradigm for this new faith.
We may not need to hear, “… thieves … work …” there are probably very few thieves here today, but we do need to hear the message “share with the needy.”
What is most significant in today’s reading, is the author’s call for these new Christians to be mindful of their communication with each other.
Put away falsehood
Put away bitters and wrath
Put away slander
Put away malice
S/he says that the way we speak to each other reflects our relationship with God. It is easy to forget that the way we speak to each other is a highly, responsible act. It is so easy to forget how profoundly our interactions with each other touch us, affect us.
It has long-been proven how our words and comments affect our children, but it doesn’t stop with our children.
Once, I observed a woman getting out of her car on a downtown Toledo street, where they still have head-in parking. Just as s/he closed her car door, the man who had already parked in the space beside her and was at the parking meter, began to holler at the meter. “You ___, ___ idiot. (vile and ugly words deleted) You take my money and don’t even give me credit for it.”
The woman screamed, as if s/he had been slapped. Tears sprang to her eyes, and s/he couldn’t unlock her car fast enough to leave—her purpose for being there completely forgotten.
Yes, what we say affects our relationships in the workplace, in public, in our families, in our volunteer activities.
What about our communication with our sisters and brothers in this congregation? When we are in a committee meeting, or at social hour, or holding a congregational meeting, do we view our words as being spiritual and religious communication?
Spiritual in that words always affect our spirit? Religious in that words have the power to bind us together or tear us asunder.
Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.
When we disagree, do we keep our mouths closed, for fear of hurting someone’s feeling, or keep our lips closed because we don’t know how to confront or challenge in love? Do we tell John how we feel about Eric’s behavior or do we look Eric in the eye and with love tell him how we feel about his behavior?
Do we speak with closed minds? Why? What is so hard about being open?
Relationship theory tells us that when we allow ourselves to be open with another person, we become vulnerable to that person.
That is what is hard about being open, our vulnerability. But it is only when we are open and vulnerable can we begin to create healthy relationships with others.
Healthy relationships equate loving relationships.
If we are in a congregational meeting and we speak with openness to others and openness about their ideas, how different it will look than speaking with closed minds and closed self.
All of us need to begin to fully integrate the understanding that as people of God, if we are going to live out the love of God, if we are going to imitate God, we must begin to see our communication as a spiritual and religious act.
Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, … so that your words may give grace to those who hear…
I’ve been in Washington for weeks, and I’ve already seen God.
S/he was picking up an elderly lady who fell at the bus stop, and he bought two Big Breakfasts at McDonalds and gave one to the homeless man standing outside on the street. They were on a television special, and they were giving their time and money to a school that wasn’t fit to be a school, and it is less than a mile from the White House.
Yes, I have already seen God in Washington, DC, and God was serving others.
When the author of Ephesians tells us to imitate God, s/he is telling us to do what Jesus did, live out our love by giving of ourselves. Mother Teresa calls it “a lifelong sharing of love with others.” S/he said, “Love has to be put in action and that action is service.”
This living out the love of God is not easy, though. Even when we serve others, our humanness interferes. We forget we are doing God’s work and our egos and our judgmental natures get in the way.
There’s the story of a wandering Hebrew who came to the tent of a good and righteous Hebrew priest Yeshiva. The traveler came to the priest’s tent and asked for hospitality. Of course, the priest would not deny hospitality, lest he be less in the eyes of Yahweh. He gave the traveler a place of honor in his tent and water to wash and food to eat. The hungry man began to eat right away.
All of a sudden, Yeshiva began to thrash the traveler about the head and shoulders, hollering, “You do not deserve this food; you did not pray before you ate,” and he continued to beat him. All of a sudden, a voice from above said, “Yeshiva, stop beating the man, he was hungry and he had not eaten in days.”
Yeshiva replied, “I cannot forgive him, he must thank you for his food.”
And Yahweh replied, “It is always better to live out my love, than it is to live out your own desires.”
Are we more often than we’d like to admit, like the Hebrew priest of old?
More concerned about what we want than we are about what God and others need from us?
The Muslim poet Rumi wrote that he felt he was in a “boat of myself” lost in the sea. A very apt descript of us when we get swallowed up in our own selves, and need to be reminded of our spiritual and religious purpose.
Whether it is at work, in public, in our volunteer work, in our family, in church, wherever we are, we need to remember that our communication affects everyone around us in a spiritual and religious way. We need to ask ourselves in all things, are we—
Imitating God by communicating with love?
Imitating God with a “lifelong sharing of love with others.”
My prayer for us today is for all of us to know God’s love and to live it out in the way we speak, and the way we act, and the way we serve.
Blessed be and amen.
The Readings
Ephesians 4:25—5:2
So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are not members of one another.
Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun do down on your anger,
and do not make room for the devil,
Thieves must give up stealing; rather let them labor work honestly with their own hands, so as to have something to share with the needy.
Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your word may give grace to those who hear.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption.
Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice,
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children,
and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
“A Lifelong Sharing” by Mother Teresa
Love cannot remain by itself—it has no meaning.
Love has to be put into action and that action is service.
Whatever form we are,
Able or disabled,
Rich or poor,
It is not how much we do,
But how much love we put in the doing;
A lifelong sharing of love with others.
Love has to be put into action and that action is service.
Posted by Sue Mosher at August 13, 2006 03:50 PM