Sermon preached by the Reverend Lillie Mae Henley, 23 Sep 2006
There is a Yiddish folk tale about forgiveness:
There are two elderly gentlemen Joe and Harry who grew up in the same neighborhood in New York City. They have been antagonizing each other since they were little boys.
Joe meets Aaron in the foyer of the synagogue at Rosh Hashanah. “I bear you no grudge, Harry. For this coming New Year, I wish you what you wish me.”
“So, Joe, you’re starting up again?”
Rosh Hashanah and the Jewish High Holy Days began at sundown this past Friday. Ramadan began yesterday.
Both Ramadan and Rosh Hashanah are about right relationship, forgiveness, and paying attention to God, regardless of what name is called.
We look at the news and we know that people don’t always live out their religion. All we have to do is look at the television or read the newspaper to see that reality.
Today we are not exploring the realities of the political world. Today we are exploring the spiritual realities that give us the strength and hope that the world can be a better place in which we live and see our children and grandchildren grow up.
Each religion, Islam and Judaism asks for one month of introspection, or soul-searching.
Each religion asks the believer to consider what her or his relationship is like with family, friends, neighbors, and God.
Each religion asks the follower to seek forgiveness of the wrongs she or he has done in the last year.
Each religion asks the believer to forgive others for their wrongs. Each religion calls for reconciliation.
For both religions, it is a holy time, a time of atonement.
A time to recognize the oneness we all have with others and with God.
Both religions ask the believer to reflect, repent, and reconcile.
Reflection
Of the three, reflection, the soul-searching is probably the most difficult, because, if we don’t get it right, we surely won’t get the other two right, repentance and reconciliation.
I read somewhere, “There is no person who has done good, who has not also done evil.”
There is a story of a man who thought he wanted to become a hermit. He wanted to get away from the world. He was disillusioned with people. He thought people were selfish, uncaring, and unfeeling. He thought manners and courtesy dead.
He didn’t know how it would be to be a hermit, so he rented a cabin in the mountains of West Virginia for six months. He was sure he would be a lot happier there.
Once he became adjusted to the solitude of the place, he began to reflect on what, he believed, brought him to the mountain. After awhile though, he got tired of thinking about other people, and he began to examine himself, to look within, and you know what he found—well, you can probably guess what he found—he found a selfish, uncaring, and unfeeling person—right there inside himself.
Reflection
Reflection allows us to search our souls.
Reflection allows us to assess our relationships and we identify any wrong we may have done.
Reflect, repent, and reconcile.
Repentance
On Thursday night, I attended the annual awards dinner for a group here in Washington named Families Against Mandatory Minimums. It is a non-profit organization that seeks to change the political culture surrounding prison sentences. It has nothing to do with “the types of crimes committed,” its sole purpose and reason for existence is to get politicians to do away with mandatory minimum sentences.
At the dinner table was from a lobbyist from another organization. He said, “Politicians are beginning to understand that minimum mandatory sentencing is not the answer to our ‘drug war.’ The problem is no one, especially no one in Washington, DC, is going to say, ‘I was wrong,’ or ‘We were wrong.’”
An aversion to accountability is in our political and corporate culture, and it is also in our intrapersonal culture. It is very, very difficult for us to admit we hurt someone or have been wrong about something.
What is there in the human psyche that holds us back from repentance? It seems that we would rather keep something inside of us—even when it makes us miserable—then admit to making a mistake, and apologizing for it.
Have you ever been ugly to a person who waited on you at a store like Target or Kmart? Well, I have, I am sorry to say. It was a long time ago, but I have never forgotten my behavior, and it has helped me be nicer to people ever since. You know, at that time, I thought I was a nice person.
I can’t remember the details; I just know that the person was not as “friendly” to me as a customer as I thought they should be. I said something, putting them “in their place.”
The worst part is that at that time, I didn’t think much of it. Later, I didn’t think much of myself for behaving in that manner. It didn’t take long for my conscience to work on me. I didn’t go back to the store and apologize right then, and because it was out of town, I never took the opportunity to apologize. I did ask God for forgiveness, and asked God to let that person know I was sorry for the way I behaved.
I made a commitment to be a better person and a better customer, especially when someone who waited on me didn’t seem to be helpful enough.
There’s more to the story, and I diverge just a moment. I began to ask these people who weren’t so helpful, how their day was going? Just about every person would say something negative was going on. Sometimes they would open up to me about tragic things in their lives, just because I asked “how is your day going?”
On the other hand, when people are helpful and friendly, and when I ask them how their day is going, they’ll usually say, “just fine.”
Rosh Hashanah and Ramadan call for admission of wrongs done and a demonstrated commitment to right the wrong.
How else will God and others know our hearts if we don’t demonstrate our repentance?
For some, the act of repentance is going to God and admitting the wrong and making a commitment not to repeat the wrong and asking God for forgiveness.
For some, the act of repentance calls for acts of charity to make right things undone.
For some, the act of repentance calls for sincere apologies to others and asking for their forgiveness.
Why, even in the Christian New Testament, Jesus said you have to be right with your neighbor before you can be right with God. He told the righteous man in the temple, do not come before Y-hw-h without first having made things right with your neighbor.
Reflect, repent and reconcile
Reconciliation
Repentance opens the way for reconciliation. Once forgiveness is sought, reconciliation follows…
As long as there is truth and sincerity, reconciliation is possible.
Rosh Hashanah and Ramadan call a person to wholeness and holiness. They are about living up to the potential with which we were created. They are about living up to the potential with which we were created.
Now, we could talk about relationship theories or behavior theories of modern psychotherapy to describe this process of reflection, repentance, and reflection. We could talk about personal growth work and healing. But, why? Will that make it more appealing to our twenty-first century intellect?
Can we create whole and holy relationships with such a simple process? It may be simple, but it is not easy.
Reflect, repent, reconcile
Sincerity, honesty, truthfulness have to be present throughout the whole process, or it won’t work. And,
Sometimes there is more hurt and pain than can be forgiven just for the asking of forgiveness. I am thinking of a lot of family dysfunction that has been present for a long time.
Never forget, forgiveness is in the heart of the forgive-er. If we are a survivor of abuse, the perpetrator of that abuse may never come to us and ask forgiveness. Sometimes, the person who caused the pain dies before the abuse is addressed. Sometimes the person will never admit she or he inflicted abuse. The crucial act here is that if the abuse gets in the way of whole and holy relationships with others and with God, then forgiveness is called for, and the kind of forgiveness that heals is in the heart of the forgiver-er.
Whatever it takes to bring wholeness and holiness into our lives we must embrace, even if it is painful at times.
Last, I speak as if we needed Rosh Hashanah and Ramadan.
We do.
Lent in Catholic Christianity is the holy days meant for the same purpose as Ramadan and Rosh Hashanah. But somehow the Protestant churches of the Reformation lost their grasp of the need for these holy days. Great mystics like Hildegard of Bingham and Thomas Moore among many, have tried to tell us that we need these holy days of reflection, repentance, and reconciliation.
We do need holy days.
We need to consider that setting aside some “holy days” can offer a dimension and depth to our lives that we do not now have. Creating our own meaning and the ritual of their holy days similar to Ramadan or Rosh Hashanah may be good for us to incorporate into our lives for a time—a day, a week, or even a month.
Holy days call us to set aside our daily activities, the busyness of living, and to recognize that all human beings are responsible for their actions and accountable for their sins. It is a time we can take to consider how important family is and how blessed we are when we have family and friends who love us. It is time to look within and without; to consider the Transcendent and the Immanent powers that govern our lives.
Thousands of years of humanity’s story tell us that people throughout history have observed holy days, and from all accounts, they change people’s lives for the better.
We can emulate this religious tradition.
Reflect, repent, and reconcile.
Do we even know what that would look like in our lives?
My prayer for us today, is that we begin to take seriously our obligation as human beings and spiritual beings to include some “holy days” in our lives. And may these holy days, bring us joy, and peace, and love of which we have yet to know.