All Saints Day November 1 and All Souls Day November 2 are the two days of the year when the Roman Catholic Church calls its people to remember those who have died. They are two days set aside to celebrate the lives and the memories of the dearly departed.
Anthropologists tell us, that throughout humankind’s story and throughout many cultures, there have been special days designated to remember those who have “gone before.” Two months of the Aztec calendar were devoted to the dead. The ninth month was dedicated to deceased infants and the tenth month included a great feast for deceased adults. In the northern peoples of Europe, celebrations honoring the dead were part of the fall equinox rituals.
In the book Rituals for Our Times, the authors—Evan Imber-Black and Janine Roberts tell us that celebrating rituals gives us a perspective on the relationships in our lives. Sally and Bob Segal’s daughter was married last night in our sanctuary. Weddings are a significant celebrating ritual of our culture, and I am positive that many people attending her wedding reflected on the relationships of their lives and their relationships with their spouses. For those not joined with someone, I’m sure many reflected on the possibilities of their own future relationships and the rituals to come.
Rituals give us perspective on our relationships—even with those we love who have died. I know I love my mother now more than I did when she died, and certainly more than I did when I was a young adult.
Imber-Black and Roberts tells us that rituals create change within.
The freedom to celebrate the loss of our loved ones “in community” gives us an opportunity to visit memories that can impact our lives. Celebrating the loss can “free us,” they say. For some of us there is the added pain of lost or broken relationships, and sharing in community helps release the pain in shared celebration. It helps us heal a little each time we share these rituals.
Celebrating ritual also gives us an opportunity to experience the deep joy of having had a relationship that brought us deep satisfaction. Often when we’ve lost such a person, we avoid thinking about them because it is too painful. In communal celebration we move through the pain to the joy of that relationship in shared ritual.
Many of us here today have lost loved ones. Some of us here have not. Some of us here have lost pets who were very dear to us.
Last night just as I drove into the parking lot at my apartment, I pushed the radio button to NPR and I believe it was Garrison Keillor who was telling a story about a woman who had lost several significant people in her life. He said she had lost parents, husband, and two children, and had stood stoic, not she a tear at their grave. But when this lady’s Chihuahua was killed, she fainted and was put to bed. She couldn’t get out of bed for two days. They had to “hold up” the funeral until she was well enough to attend the back yard ritual.
That’s all I heard before I had to get out of my car, but I thought about today’s service, and how for some of us, losing a pet is the only significant loss we’ve had, or, for some, like that lady, the only loss of unconditional love we’ve ever had.
Today as we share this remembering of our loved ones we acknowledge that the death of a loved one is not only the death of that person, but it is the death of the future relationship that will never be. It is the end of dreams and hopes.
I want to say this now, because it must be said. The loss of a child or youth is the hardest life transition any person would every have to live through. For those here who have had such a loss, know that our love and sympathy are with you. We, who have not had such a loss, can never know how painful it is, but know that in our rituals today, we want to help share some of your pain.
The next hardest loss is for children who have lost a sibling. We want you to know that as a community, we want to share your silent pain.
An All Souls Service like this one is to celebrate and remember in shared strength and sorrow, to celebrate and remember in shared strength and joy.
The worship committee has for some time had an All Souls Day service on our worship calendar. It is serendipitous that this past week two beautiful people died who are connected to this beloved community. Harry Echols a member here for many, many years died last Sunday morning in Atlanta. We have been praying for Harry since we learned he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer.
Another person Gladys Mae Skidmore died this past Wednesday in Florida. David Skidmore, our head deacon, is her son. Gladys was 90 years old.
We remember both and celebrate their lives today.
Now, our altar and decorations today are symbolic of the Hispanic tradition. Families create altars in their homes or at the graveside of their dead loved ones.
On the altars they place marigolds, sugar skulls that symbolize death, sugar figures that symbolize the life of the deceased, skeletons dressed as the grim reaper, the deceased’s favorite foods, perhaps cans of beer or bottles of tequila or soda pop bottles—what ever was their favorite drink, other items which were significant in their lives. The tissue banners are hung around the cemetery, the town, the homes, and the churches. There is a village in San Salvador Huixcolotla that is famous for these banners. Of course, there are candles everywhere and the traditional breads and cookies. I found a Mexican bakery and brought some today for our altar. After service, we will serve these traditional breads at hospitality.
They have parties at home and in the cemetery. They leave food, drinks, cigarettes, at the graves. One woman from Mexico told the story that she and her teenage friends used to sneak off to the cemetery during the night of All Souls and smoke the cigarettes and drink the beer and liquor that was left at the graves.
My friend Rebecca Siennes, I wrote about her in your order of service, told me that the celebrations in the Philippians are similar to the Hispanic tradition. She said at church they always had a traditional Philippine communion—which we will have today. All Souls communion is celebrated with pineapple, the primary agricultural produce of the Philippines.
Our Deacons will come forward now and pick up the baskets of pineapple. They will hold the basket of pineapple out to the first person, at the end of the row, and say, “As the spirit of our loved ones feed us, so we feed each other.” Then the person will take a piece of pineapple, eat it, and then take the basket. She or he will then turn to the person beside them and say, “As the spirit of our loved ones feed us, so we feed each other.” We will repeat this until everyone who wants to be fed is fed.
Please feel comfortable in saying to your neighbor if you wish to pass out of the ritual.
This is a very communal, yet intimate communion. It is symbolic of the closeness we can achieve as a beloved community.
Afterwards, the Deacons will bring the baskets to the altar where I will offer a prayer of remembrance.
Now, will the Deacons come forward?
Prayer of Remembrance
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Oh good and Gracious God, our Sustainer, our Friend, our Savior, be with each one today as we respond to this communal celebration. Helps us understand our feelings about our losses, this congregation, and this celebration.
Through all this, may it bring each of us closer? May we know the strength of share sorrow and shared joy?
And may we be reminded to make the most of each day. We need to love each other as if it were our last day. We need to speak and act and reach out to each other as if each day were our last day.
We give you the glory God, the praise, and the gratitude for our lives.
Amen and blessed be.